An email arrived today from a mother who has been a regular on this site. Her son has been in trouble at school for bullying. She attached this note from her son to his dad. She found it folded up on her husband’s pillow.
If this doesn’t hit home with some people, I’m not sure what will. Why are some children so angry? Why do some children act out and bully?
Some of the reasons come right out of the mouths of the children who are actually doing the bullying.
dad im mad at you you yell at me when im bad at school or here. you cuss at me and tell me im stupid you make me feal like sh— i shoud call you stupid so you feal like sh— i shoud cuss at you and call you names mabe then you cood get it. so i called that fat kid fat whats so bad you call mom fat all the time i guess its ok if you do it but not ok if i do it i dont car about that fat kid so why is it such a cryme to call him fat your supposed to car about mom but you call her fat and she crys im not going to say sorry to him until you say sorry to mom. i don’t car if you yell at me anyway whats diference you do it anyway. i want you to feal like sh— to
dan
(not his real name)
Photo: rabend
A Message From A Bully http://bit.ly/g64Yyh Worth a read! via @rugbyjones
RT @modlandUSA: A Message From A Bully http://bit.ly/g64Yyh Worth a read! via @rugbyjones
RT @RugbyJones: @chtucker18 @DebbieMahler @affiliatetips @modlandUSA A Message From A Bully http://bit.ly/g64Yyh Worth a read!
Someone has to break the pattern of abuse here. I think the Mom should. The Dad needs to change his ways, but will he? I doubt it, unless something else triggers it.
I see a chain of bullying: from the husband to his wife and kid; then the kid bullying another kid.
I think the Mom can break that chain. She also needs to protect herself and her child from this constant assault. But first the Mom must feel “empowered enough” to initiate this change in the family dynamics. Has she sought outside help for herself, like a support group for emotionally battered women? That is a first step. By rebuilding her inner strength first, she’ll be able to pursue long-term resolutions.
With a more peaceful, happier home environment, I think this child’s anger will also dissipate.
These are my thoughts and I hope they’re helpful. My best wishes for this Mom and child!
Angie, I totally agree with you. Here is part of the issue that plays a role in this case and in so many others. Prior to the time that this mom found her son’s note and sent it to us, she didn’t get it. She didn’t understand that she was being bullied and or emotionally abused by her husband. Like so many of the abused and bullied people in this world, she thought it was just a part of life. Even worse, she thought she deserved the treatment. The most important way that we all can help is to pass the message to every person we meet… that everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to comment!
You are so very right!