Summer is a time for vacations, relaxing and talking with your children about bullying.
When we were young, elementary school consisted of classes, lunch and recess. We played sports and we had winners and losers. Now there are no winners or losers. Everyone must be a winner. We played games like dodge ball. Dodge ball isn’t played anymore because it is seen as harmful to the self-esteem of the kids who might get hit by the ball.
We’re deceiving our children by pretending that everyone is a winner and that sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you. We have tipped the scales and children are reaping the rewards of our misguided mission to keep them in bubbles floating above the realities of life.
The fact is that there are winners and losers and there are disappointments in life. Children need to be prepared for those things by learning ways to cope when things go wrong. History proves that human nature attempts to correct problems by taking the pendulum to the other extreme and often creates new and possibly worse problems.
Self-esteem blooms with kindness and respect and withers in the presence of bullies. Bullying is a cancer in our schools. Children who are bullied often suffer low self-esteem and depression. The system speaks of encouraging self-esteem but sadly the system doesn’t nurture self-esteem in the children who need it most. The self-esteem of a bullied child is virtually nonexistent.
Adults are in charge of the world of all children and you must take that responsibility seriously. You need to understand that and own the power that you have over what happens in the lives of all children. You need to ask the questions. You need to be aware of what goes on behind the scenes.
Bullies can be deadly and you fuel the fire if you ignore the issue or believe that bullies are always in the other schools. To save a child’s life, maybe even yours, you must ask, “Is my child being bullied? Is my child a bully? Is my child laughing at kids who are being bullied?”
Having a talk with your children about bullies should come way before your talk about the birds and bees. You must take action. Facing the harsh reality that there is a huge problem with bullies in our schools is the first step in removing their power.
My mom used to tell me to turn the other cheek when someone was unkind. My dad used to tell me to hit back if someone hit me. That was then. Then I didn’t know of any kids who committed suicide. This is now.
Creating a united front is the only way to stop bullies. There is power in numbers. Who can change the life of a bullied child before it’s too late? The answer is that anyone and everyone can and anyone and everyone must.
Photo: The Wandering Angel
