Monthly Archives: September 2011

Parents Can Make A Difference

An email just arrived and I must admit that it took me by surprise. In all the years that Rugby’s message has been out there, we have had very few negative comments.

Most of the time, adults and kids have responded with positive remarks and appreciation for all that we are trying to do here. The “Tail” of Rugby Jones: A Rascal’s Journey from Disability to Ability was the beginning of our mission because of the quantity of unbelievably positive responses that we received. Parents and kids shared their stories both good and bad and everyone benefited from their experiences.

We learned about bullying from the kids and parents who experienced bullying first hand from the perspective of the bullies, the bullied, the bystanders and the parents.

Over and over again, we have heard how much our message has helped children embrace their differences and take pride in who they are. We have received a ton of messages sharing how much better kids get the fact that weight differences, stature differences, ethnic differences, sexual differences, learning differences and physical differences shouldn’t be the basis for how people are treated.

Then, an email arrived today that rocked my very being! I will only quote a portion of it.

“How dare you tell people that it’s ok to be homosexual?  How dare you say that different races are the same as us? You are the devil and you are spreading the devil’s message that bad people and bad deeds are a good thing.”

Receiving an email like this proves to me that our message is an important one. How can children understand that bullying and demeaning any person is wrong when this is what they see adults doing?

Photo: Sylvar

Tips on How to Locate Bullies


School personnel can be overworked and overtired but they can still take a stand to lower the number of kids being bullied by watching.

They need to really watch the kids. I don’t mean looking at groups of kids as a whole. I mean watching  individual kids and how they walk, talk and interact with the other kids?

Aside from having zero tolerance for bullying, there are so many ways that adults can get to the crux of the matters that lead up to bullying events.

As an example, there is a simple exercise that parents, teachers and staff can do that will give them great insight regarding the kids who could be targets of bullying and kids who might be bullying.

They should watch groups of kids getting off the bus, walking down the halls and going to and from the lunch rooms.

Here are some examples:

Watch how the kids walk.

  • Do they stand up straight and walk with pride?
  • Do they walk with slumped shoulders giving the impression that they are trying to fade into the back ground?

Watch how the kids interact with each other.

  • Do they laugh and seem happy?
  • How do they interact with kids of the same sex and kids of the opposite sex?

Watch what goes on in the locker room where kids change into their PE clothes.

  • Are there kids who seem to shy away from the other kids or seem overly modest?
  • Are there kids who appear to be taunting kids who are not as physically mature as the others?

Periodically, do locker checks and book bag checks.

  • Take note of messy book bags or lockers. (They might indicate tha
  • t they are being emptied or dumped by someone.)
  • Look for any marks or destruction.

These are just a few of the many ways that adults can help protect all children from bullying.

Photo: Mat_the_W

It Depends On You!

Almost everyone agrees that bullying is wrong but most people don’t know how to stop it. Some believe that there  should be more laws to stop the bullying. Others believe that it is the schools’ responsibility to stop bullies. Still others believe that it is the parents’ responsibility. Others don’t know whose responsibility it shouldContinue Reading

Bullying: What If?

Are you worried about your child and bullying? For most parents, the answer is yes for so many reasons and it’s not always because their child is being bullied. Bullying destroys lives and that happens to kids who are bullying and kids who are being bullied and to their parents. Parents, you hear it inContinue Reading

Don’t Ask – Don’t Tell Is Said and Done

It’s about time that Don’t ask – Don’t tell has been asked and told and now, thankfully is said and done. This site and what I do here and in my speeches to kids is all about teaching them to embrace and be proud of the people they are. My message is about accepting ourContinue Reading

Parents Beware: Your Kids are Creative!

Parents, you need to become aware of the fact that cyber bullying doesn’t require a mac or a pc. As much as you don’t want to think it is happening with your kids, it just might be. Your kids know how to do things that you don’t have a clue about. They can use theirContinue Reading

Bullying: A Parent’s Responsibility

Parents, please ask yourselves these questions. You might save a a child from the isolation of being bullied. What are you doing to stop bullying? What are you teaching your children to do to put a stop to bullying? Are you doing anything? Are you doing enough? Are you making a difference? Are your childrenContinue Reading

Your Child Could Be The Next Target of Bullying

It’s time to share information to stop bullying.  There is so much pain being inflicted on kids who are targets.  It’s very important to remember that everyone is responsible for stopping bullies. It’s important to find out who the bullies are and who the targets are so that attempts can be made to stop theContinue Reading

One Nation Under God

This post is dedicated to all people who hold America in their hearts and to all of  those who have lost their lives to protect us and all that America stands for and all that America is. May each and every one of us grasp and appreciate the gift that we have been given asContinue Reading

Keep It Simple and Make A Difference

What lessons have you learned from life so far? I’m not talking about lighthearted things like: When your mom is in a bad mood, don’t ask her to brush your hair. You can’t hide Brussels Sprouts in your milk. Raising teenagers is like nailing pudding to a tree. People grow old but they don’t necessarilyContinue Reading