A Recent Comment:

I listened to interviews you did on bullying and I printed out the free bullying manual. It makes sence what you say because it’s black and white and easy to get. Even people who say bullying isnt a problem can get it. Even my husband could get it and he says bullying isnt’ a problem that kids should just fight back but now if they get to fightin they all get in trouble.

So we went to the school meeting about bullying and said what you said about no tolerence. We brought the page in the book about the oath that everybody should sign and showed it to the people there. They liked it and made copys and a lot of them signed it and said theyar going to make theyr kids sign it and we want to take it to the school princliple and get them all to help stop the bullying and sign it.

It’s like you say they don’t want to take a stand about bullying and thats why kids keep getting hurt.  So thanks for all youar doing to try to stop bullies from hurting more kids. My kid feels better now with seeing the videos here and he learned a lot from the horse bully beccaus hes tired from running away and getting tired of the bully. Im trying to get him to like hisself more and hes better and I think it helps a lot. So what I want you to know is thanks for what you are doing a lot.

A comment like this makes the heart feel good because it shows that we are making a difference when it comes to anti-bullying efforts.

Photo: Chewonki Semester School

So much credit must be given to a father in Southern California. His young fourth-grade son told him that a boy had pulled a knife on him in the classroom. (I’d sure like to know where the teacher was when this happened.) Robert Casteel kept Christopher home from school until he was able to obtain a restraining order requiring the bully to stay at least 20 feet away from his son.

A pocket knife was taken from the bully and he was suspended for 5 days.  Robert Casteel has been quoted as saying that the Jurupa Unified School District officials have been too lenient by only suspending the child for 5 days. I totally agree.

Superintendent Elliott Dunchon has been quoted, “We’re investigating the incident and following appropriate disciplinary procedures. We’re concerned anytime a student brings any kind of weapon to school and take it seriously.”

In my opinion, saying so doesn’t make it so. In researching Mission Bell Elementary School’s zero tolerance for bullying statement on line, I couldn’t find one. The closest statement that I could find stated,  Do not engage in physical or verbal violence. Play fighting and fighting are not allowed and may result in up to five days suspension. Use your life skills and lifelong guidelines to problem solve and learn to disagree without being disagreeable.

How is this possible? I find it appalling. Each and every school must have a zero tolerance for bulling mandate in place or the bullying and loss of lives will continue. Please check out our free anti-bullying manual to see what can be done to help lower the number of bullying events. Parents, unite with other parents and demand that your children’s schools have a zero tolerance for bullying in place.

Photo: SOGknives

Less than a year ago, another twelve year old boy from New Bedford committed suicide. Elijah Lopes had only attended the Keith Middle School for about a month. Apparently he had been the victim of bullying.

The loss of two young lives in New Bedford, Massachusetts within one year.

Why? What is being done to help children like Elijah and Clifford before it’s too late?

Please everyone, act and react when a child appears to be depressed or overly sad. Make a call. Do something before it’s too late for sorry.

Photo: Monica’s Dad

Quite by accident, I came across a friend’s child’s Facebook profile. It was public for all to see. I told her mom about the information that I saw and my concerns. I asked her how old her daughter is and I expected her to tell me thirteen or fourteen or fifteen. Her daughter is only eleven.

I have said this before and I’ll say it again, kids younger than sixteen should not be using social media! My friend is a good mom and she is attentive to her kids but like so many parents, she succumbs to, “Everyone else is allowed to use Facebook.”

With very little effort, I was able to see where the child goes to school, where she has activities, her younger sister’s age and where she goes to school and has activities. In addition, I saw the locations of where many pictures were taken. I also saw the list of her friends. Many of which did not fit the scenario of the kind of friends that an eleven year old should have. In addition, I was able to see where her mom works and that there is a “gap” in the time that the girls get home from school and the time that their mom arrives home.

Please take this seriously. Don’t let your children use social media because “all the other kids can.”

Photo: cambodia4kidsorg

How old are your children? Do you think that they are too young to know about or use drugs and alcohol? How about their friends?

What would you say if I told you that kids as young as eight and ten are using alcohol and drugs? Did you know that Gummy Bears are being soaked in vodka and eaten by grammar school kids during school?

Did you know that bath salts  have become one of the most dangerous drugs that can cause death?  How about plant food? What do you know about the dangers that plant food can cause for children??

Parents, aunts and uncles, older siblings and all adults…please tune in. Do your homework and communicate with the kids you love. It might just save a life.

Photo: anshu_si

Angela is in fifth grade. Her mom passed away over a year ago from breast cancer. Both of us  had a hard time adjusting to my wife’s death.  After her mom died, Angela and I went out for a lot of dinners. I think we both thought food helped us  feel less pain. I have gained about 35 pounds in the last year. I really didn’t notice that Angela gained weight until a few days ago.

Angela was starting to get passed missing her mom and I saw she was getting happier until the beginning of this school year. I saw she started to go to her room when she came home. Her grades were dropping and she never had friends come over. Not like before.

A couple of days ago, I called her for dinner and she didn’t come. I knocked on her door and she didn’t answer. It was locked. I kept calling and she didn’t answer. I kicked in the door. She was sitting on her bed and sobbing. I saw blood on her arm. I asked her what was going on and she said nothing. I asked her what happened to her arm and she said she cut it just like every day.

I asked her how and she just looked at me. I didn’t know what she meant by cutting. I never heard of cutting. Now I know about cutting.

It ends up that kids have been bullying her at school and calling her fatty and slob and whale and pig.

Please tell parents to watch their kids closer because bad things happen and if they don’t find out until it’s too late, it could be too late.

Photo: donjd2

My suggestion for you today is to find something positive about every single thing that happens today. Remember that people are as happy as they want to be. They can be as successful as they believe they will be as long as they add action to the process.

So let your goal for today to see the positive and share the positive with all you meet. It will come back a million fold. Try it. Think about it this way; If I hadn’t looked up toward the sky, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to see this beautiful balloon.

If you practice being happy today, you’ll have a head start tomorrow!

Happy New Year!

This is such an important question because the answer that you give will dictate much of your child’s future. Why? The answer is not easily understood when your child is young. It is simple to understand after the fact because you along with a few genes made it happen.

As we look forward to a new year filled with happiness and success, I’d like to share a few quotes from some very wise people.

“Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.”

~ Alvin Price

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement, nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”

~ Helen Keller

“Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you.”

~ H. Jackson Brown

“If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.” 

~ Abigail Van Buren

“Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.”

~ Robert A. Heinlein

“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.”

~ William D. Tammeus

“If I had my child to raise all over again, I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later. I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I’d take more hikes and fly more kites. I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I’d do more hugging and less tugging.”

~ Diane Loomans

“And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve had more of a tendency to look for people who live by kindness, tolerance, compassion, a gentler way of looking at things. ”

~  Martin Scorese

Photo: lindsey gee

Adult bullying can be as scary or even more scary than bullying with kids. Just because people get older, doesn’t necessarily mean that they grow up. What is different about adult bullying is that usually grown-ups understand bullying situations better.

I said usually because always doesn’t apply. Many times adult bullies act in unkind ways because they see situations where they don’t get their own ways as being somebody else’s fault. They believe that the rules don’t apply to them. The person being bullied might not even play a role but just like with kids, some adults take out their anger on the person they are bullying.

Here are a few suggestions if you are an adult being bullied.

• Being patient and hoping that the bully will back off usually doesn’t work.
• Often, the more the bullied adult allows the bully to do what he or she wants causes the bullying to get worse.
• If there is an issue that the authorities don’t handle appropriately, then go in a different direction. Sometimes it’s just a matter of finding the right avenue and the right authority.

You can “just say no” when you are victimized by bullies even when you are an adult. Remember that there are all kinds of threats. Threats can be verbal or written or veiled. What message do you think the bully is trying to convey in the above picture?