Children see through people who are not honest. The message that you give with insincere praise is that you can’t find anything to really praise. When that happens, it tells a child that he or she does not deserve real approval.

The secret is to be sincere and find something that you really can praise. Even if it isn’t something huge, remember that small things will be stepping stones toward a child’s improved self worth.

It’s so important to let children understand that failure is okay. Failure and mistakes are crucial for success to become a reality. Children need their parents to believe in their abilities, to be proud of their efforts and teach them how to learn from the negative events in their lives.

Photo: crdotx

I’d like to offer a few suggestions if your child falls into the “least bit different category.”

Pay attention

• Is your child included at parties?
• Does your child have friends?
• Is your child involved in extracurricular activities?

Empathize

• Let your child see that you feel his or her pain.
• Let your child see that you may have had similar experiences.

Do Something

• Help your child gain self-esteem.
• Help your child find something that he or she enjoys and does well.
• Help your child gain pride in successfully accomplishing something.

Listen

• Make sure you listen to the happenings of his or her day.
• Listen to what your child says and to what he or she does not say.

As a parent, you are responsible for helping your child deal with being “a bit different.”

Here is an example. All of the boys play football. Your child wasn’t selected to be on the team. Find a sport that will help him feel better about his abilities. Maybe you could take him to learn rock climbing, boxing or Karate. It can be anything that helps him to feel like part of the group, even if it means taking part in a sport that is out of the ordinary.

Photo: prayitno

Bullies usually pick on kids with low self-esteem. It is your job to help your child gain more self-esteem. Find things that your child does well and give honest and sincere positive reinforcement.

Next, help your child lose weight. Childhood obesity has escalated in recent years. Now overweight children are suffering with health issues that used to be designated to adults. They often have symptoms of Type II Diabetes and hypertension.

So for the sake of their health and for the sake of their happiness, help them drop some pounds. One of the most successful ways to do this is to lose weight yourself. As difficult as it may be to think about, your loss of weight will trigger weight loss in your children. Look at the statistics. You play a huge role.

Photo: Tobyotter

As those of you who are regulars here know, we are all about trying to lower the number of bullying events today and in the future. All children are special and should be regarded as such no matter what differences they might have. We as adults, must teach children to accept differences, embrace differences and take pride in differences.

It is by our example that children will be spared the pain of being bullied. It is by our actions that the number of bullying events will decrease.

We would like to make a request of you today. We would like to hear your input about the movie, BULLY.

If you have been the target of bullying, if your child has been a target, a bystander or a bully… please share your opinions about the movie, BULLY.

Your input on the following would be most appreciated.

1. Why did you go to see the movie?
2. What did you learn from the movie?
3. What did your children learn?
4. Do you think this movie will make a difference for bullied children, bystanders and or bullies? Why?

Thank you so much for your input in advance.

Please read the email that I just received. After you read it, please do something to make a difference and help the people who are being bullied.

Dear Claudia,

I have read your website for years. I purchased The Tail Of Rugby Jones when it came out and I cried as I read and began to understand the importance of self esteem. When my children were little, I tried to help them to believe in themselves and in their abilities. As time went on and things changed, I found out that I am alone in this world.

My story is this: My one grandson is being bullied and even though my family won’t own up to this, I know he is being bullied because he is different. I am certain that he is gay. He hasn’t told me this but I can tell. I am an old woman but even though I am generations behind today, I understand something important. If you love a child, accept that child. Don’t try to make the child into your image…just accept and embrace him or her for what he or she is.

I live far from my family and like my grandson, I am afraid. I am afraid because of the people who feel the need to intimidate, hurt and scare me. Why do they do this? Why is bullying accepted? Why don’t people care enough to do something to make a difference and protect us?

Claudia, please share my message. It’s people like you who help those of us who are afraid. You are the ones who help us gain confidence and strength.

Sincerely,

An old Grandmother who understands fear and relates to bullying

Photo: joseloya

Make sure that you an approachable adult.  That means that you listen to what your kids say and don’t say!

There are always two sides with everything and this subject is no different.

PRO -

“…using “seclusion rooms” — sometimes called timeout rooms or quiet rooms — has allowed students whose disabilities once kept them from attending public schools to do so.”  ~American Association of School Administrators

CON -

“This is the sort of seamy underside of special education, the dirty little secret that nobody wants to talk about — that kids in Ohio get restrained and secluded every single day. These are kids with disabilities — the most vulnerable members of our society.” ~Aimee Gilman

You are responsible for you children. Take it seriously.

Photo: ecastro

Children with bullying allergies can die if they come in contact with bullies.

Remember:

If you look away, bullies stay.

Don’t even try if you start with a lie.

Don’t pretend – apprehend!

If your child has food allergies, make it your mission to protect your child and protect a bullied child with an allergy to bullies. Children must be protected from things that place them at risk!!

Today is the day to do something!

Dare to care about a child besides your own!

I’m not that lucky because I can’t avoid the bullies. They are everywhere. There is no medicine I can take to make me feel better. Some have said that anti-depression medicine helps if someone who is bullied gets depressed. Guess what I think? I think that the answer is to stop bullying flat out. That way anti-depression medicine wouldn’t be suggested as an answer to help bullied kids.

Just so you know, my symptoms are the same as the kids who are allergic to other things.

When I am bullied or think about being bullied, this is what happens.

• I have a hard time breathing and my chest gets tight.
• My eyes water. Some call it crying.
• My face turns red and swells.
• I get nauseous and get stomach aches.
• I feel afraid.
• I want to take something or do something to feel better.
• My health is threatened.

Are you allergic to bullies? What are the people who love you doing to help your health? What are they doing to keep you safe?

What are you doing to help yourself?

Remember: There is no magic “anti-bully medicine” but there is a powerful anti-bully remedy. That remedy is called  ZERO TOLERANCE!

Make yourself heard. Tell a trusted adult that you are allergic to bullies. Remind him or her that kids with bad allergies are at risk kids and schools help them. Say that kids with peanut allergies are protected and say that you want to be protected from bullies just like they are protected from peanuts.

You can do it!

Photo: parrchristy

How do you feel when you go to school each day? Are you excited or are you dreading the day?

There are so many teachers who are just there for a paycheck and nothing more. Maybe they began their jobs with the right attitudes but that has changed. Now they are living day by day, hoping to live long enough to reach retirement.

So, here is the key. Are you making a difference? Are there children who have succeeded because of your being a part of their lives? Did you teach them in some way, that they can be great?  If you did, then you are great!

Steve Jobs had a teacher who made a difference in his life. What if there is a Steve Jobs in your classroom?

Think about it. Please!

Photo: Mike Sansone

No matter how successful you are or or how long you live, moments like this make you realize that your work has value and that your life has purpose.

This mom shared yesterday’s post about Lucy with her son. He had been in a terrible accident and lost one of his legs just below the knee. She told me that he had sunk into a terrible depression. He didn’t want to return to school. He had even mentioned that he didn’t care if he lived or died.

To make a very long story short, he watched Lucy’s video. His mom told me that tears rolled down his cheeks as he watched little Lucy. She said that he watched the video over and over again and then said what she had prayed he would say…

“Mom, I will be okay. Life is what you make it. I will be great because I can.”

Photo: mikebaird