Do you know how hard it is on kids when they are moving away and changing schools? Well, I can tell you that it’s really hard. There are a lot of reasons and adults need to understand what they have to go through so that they can help to make it easier for them.
Don’t ever lie to your kids about moving away but that doesn’t mean that you should tell them things that are not meant for children to know. Remember that adults should deal with adult things and children should only need to deal with children’s things.
Don’t make promises about moving away that you can’t keep. That may help in the beginning but it won’t help later on. In fact it will usually make things worse because the kids will be disappointed plus they won’t believe things that you tell them in the future.
The most important thing to remember is that kids need to feel safe, secure and loved. Moving away to a bigger or better house really doesn’t matter to kids. They are afraid of changing schools and friends and being uprooted from all that they have known.
Take the kids to visit the new school they will be attending. It would be very helpful if they could meet some of the kids and that way they will know kids when school starts. That will make them feel a little more secure.
It will also help if the kids can see the new house or apartment before they move. It will also help if they know they can take their toys and pets with them.
Pets really help kids to feel happier if they move away or when life changes. Even though I think the best pets are dogs, having dogs isn’t always possible. Another good pet is a cat. Sometimes kids like gerbils and guinea pigs. If none of these are possible, fish can also be good pets.
Do your kids have cell phones? Do you monitor them? Sure. You might check contacts and texts. You probably watch the time used per each billing period. Do you check anything else?
Parents, we must be honest with ourselves and we must face facts if we are to lower the numbers of bullying events.
- Do you think your child can do no wrong?
- Do you think your child is capable of being mean or unkind?
- Have you ever seen your child tease an animal, other kids or even an adult?
- Have you ever looked the other way instead of giving consequences to your child for poor choices or actions?
Backtracking, I ask you again, do you check anything else on your child’s phone? Do you check your child’s phone without your child’s knowledge or at unexpected times? As a parent, your goal should be to do what it takes to help your child survive and succeed in a very different world from the one you knew as a child.
We received an email from a distraught mother of a 13 year old girl. She explained that her daughter and 5 other girl friends had been to a slumber party. The girls apparently were doing usual girl things like make-up and hair and then gossip began. One of the girls suggested making some calls to boys. They started making the calls and it ended up that one of the boys called was a boy that her daughter “liked.” While she wasn’t sure exactly what was said, she did know that while listening, her daughter began to tear up and then cry. One of the girls took a video of her daughter crying as the boy made fun of her. She knew this because the video was text-ed and streamed to a lot of her school mates. She became the laughing stock at her school. What is sad is that the mother said that the girl who spread the video was a nice girl and had been her daughter’s friend since first grade.
Why did this happen? It happened because all kids, even nice kids and yes even your kids have the potential to be mean. You as parents need to be vigilant in monitoring your children’s cell phones and internet use. Even more importantly, you must talk with your kids about everything.